This blog is simply about the life of a girl named WANIE.About her loved ones,losses,laughters and sadness. Above all,its all about her journey in this life.
setiap kali bila dengar berita yang tidak menyenangkan,seperti kematian,hati ini mesti sebak.biar pun orang yang meninggal dunia tu aku tak kenal.pernah juga tgh2 drive on the road, nampak van jenazah lalu dengan lampu siren yang berkelip-kelip, aku tersu menangis.
kadang2 bertanye jugak pada diri sendiri.kenapa menangis?menangis kerana teringatkan mereka yang meninggalkan aku dan adik2 atau menangis kerana aku tahu apa dan bagaimana rasenyer kehilangan orang yang kita sayang.apatah lagi jika pemergian itu secara tiba-tiba.
believe me, the least i wanna hear about is the news about death.bukanlah menolak ketentuanNya,cuma kadang2 tak boleh nak control sebak di dada.hari pun jadi muram jer.
these past few days, i've been sick.sakit gigi la.demam la.muntah2 la.nothing serious.cuma semua jadi dalam waktu yg sama.when i was sick,sangat-sangat teringat my arwah mama and ayah.aku mase tu teringin sangat nk cakap dgn diorg.tell them im sick.i wanted to be consoled.by them.not anyone else.teringin sangat.sampai nangis jugak la.
mungkin juga perasaan ni sebab tgk tv byk sngt.yerlah, ahad lepas kan mother's day.on that day itself, aku and adik2 pegi dinner.and we could see that ramai family yang kluar makan to celebrate mother's day.hati jadi sayu.tapi hati juga kena kuat.tak boleh nangis depan adik2.my adik2 pun seems strong.or maybe they wanted to look strong,just like me.ya Allah,macam mane lah agaknye hati mereka menerima semua ini?harap2 hati mereka tabah seprti mana mereka tabah secara luaran.
setipa kejadian ade hikmahnye.i`ve been telling myself this over and over.supaya tidak terpesong sangat dengan kesedihan di hati.
to those out there (in case you are reading this, :)),aku bukanlah manusia yg baik sgt pun.aku juga pernah nakal.esp dengan mak ayah.but if your parents are still alive, appreciate them.respect them.care for them.kadang2 ade jugak geramnye dengan mak ayah kita ni.but take it something that we will remember bout them.jangan sakitkan hati mereka.because when they are gone, that is the most yg kita akan ingat.because if we dont respect,appreciate and care for them,when they are gone,that will be the most regrettable moment in our life.
this entry was made because my dear adik farhan (fana's brother) had just lost his fiance-to-be.her name is alya.she had undergone a surgery in singapore.after the surgery she was infected that cause her death.May her soul rest among blessed souls by Allah.when i heard the news, tu yg teringat nk buat entry ni.
to Farhan,sometimes we thought we could never be able to get thru this.but eventually,without we even realising it,Allah will help us to ge thru this.Allah itu Maha Pengasih.Dia takkan beri dugaan yang tak mampu kita tanggung.. ( a word to myself jugak ) sabar yer dik..
Fana, you too need to be strong.especially utk Farhan.he needs everyone's support.which im sure he will have it from all of you..sumthing that no need to worry about. because ur family is full with love and support.i know that. :)
Semoga roh Alya,Mama, Ayah, and Delima ditempatkan dengan orang-orang beriman dan dicucuri rahmat.Amiinnn...
p/s: Minty, all of a sudden,aku teringat kau.we need to be strong kan?we are and will always be. :)
In Memory
Delima @ Nur Syazreen Rosli
1989-2003
Al-fatihah.
Kak Wanie rindu Ime.
'Aftermath' by Adam Lambert
Have you lost your way?
Livin' in the shadow of the messes that you made
And so it goes
Everything inside your circle starts to overflow
Take a step before you leap
Into the colours that you seek
You give back what you give away
So don't look back on yesterday
Wanna scream out
No more hiding
Don't be afraid of what's inside
Gonna tell ya you'll be alright
In the Aftermath
Anytime anybody pulls you down
Anytime anybody says you're not allowed
Just remember you are not alone
In the Aftermath
You feel the weight
Of lies and contradictions that you live with every day
It's not too late
Think of what could be if you rewrite the role you play
Take a step before you leap Into the colours that you seek
You give back what you give away So don't look back on yesterday
Wanna scream out
No more hiding
Don't be afraid of what's inside
Gonna tell ya you'll be alright
In the Aftermath
Anytime anybody pulls you down
Anytime anybody says you're not allowed
Just remember you are not alone
In the Aftermath In the Aftermath
Before you break you have to shed your armor
Take a trip and fall into the glitter
Tell a stranger that they're beautiful
So all you feel is love, love
All you feel is love, love
Wanna scream out
No more hiding
Don't be afraid of what's inside
Wanna tell you you'll be alright
In the Aftermath
Wanna scream out
No more hiding
Don't be afraid of what's inside
Gonna tell ya you'll be alright
In the Aftermath
Anytime anybody pulls you down
Anytime anybody says you're not allowed
Just remember you are not alone In the Aftermath
In the Aftermath
Gonna tell ya you'll be alright
In the Aftermath
In the Aftermath
Just remember you are not alone
In the Aftermath
p/s: Love the song.but not the singer. :p
wow! sangat-sangat lama taupdate blog ni.
bukan setakat bersawang dah ni,ni dah tahap lalang naik tinggi dah.huhu
nak kata busy,orang lain pun busy jugak kan? :)
nak kata malas,erm..itu mungkin. :D
nak kata mengelak untuk berbicara mengenai nya juga berkemungkinan. :)
life has been really good.so far.alhamdulillah.takde la masalah yg major sampai tak terhandle.
kerja pun ok walaupun dah masuk dekat 4 bulan,masih lagi dalam mood yg nak adapt dgn environment.mengada-ngada i know. ;)
my angels,ena and yin.though ade skit masalah,its not something that we cannot fix.time will decide.
friendship.erm.this one really got tested.
tapi kata hati menguatkan semangat.
we need to know who or what is our priority.
we need to open up our eyes to see who is actually having our back whenever we are about to fall.
sometimes we thought that they were there,they got our back.
but unfortunately,its just shadow of them.its your mind that wants them to be there.
but in reality,it can be someone else.
thats why u need to open up your heart and eyes.
so that you would not lost those who actually there for you.
and another lesson,dont take things too seriously! a note for myself. =)
i need to cheer up and look forward!
awaits for what will happen in future..
isnt that much for fun than spending too much time grieving for what had happen in the past or even hoping something would changed but u did nothing to make that changes?
im being too positive i know.
but i need to be. :)
alhamdulillah.
setakat ni bos saya baik.
slalu bagi kerja itu tandanye dia percaya kita.good as of now.
legal assistant pun baik.sbb dia kawan saya di uia dulu.hehe.
terima kasih encik hazwan.
walau baru 2 hari bekerja bersama anda, banyak benda yang saya pelajari.
saya berharap saya dapat belajar lebih banyak lagi daripada anda.
kakak a.k.a para legal di ofis saya pun baik dan cool.
ade seorang gadis a.k.a admin clerk pun sgt baik.
orang kata too early to judge.
tapi setakat ini, saya bersyukur.
bersyukur mendapat bos yang baik.
bersyukur mendapat legal assistant yang baik.
bersyukur mendapat para legal yang baik.
bersyukur mendapat rakan sekerja yang baik.
p/s utk diri sendiri : wanie,sila bersyukur.jika masih alpa,tak tau la nak kata mcm mana lagi.
: sila rajin kan diri anda.
:sila teliti dalam semua perkara.sebab saya baru sedar(ok tak sepatutnya tapi saya ingat saya tak macam ni) bahawa saya ni agak kurang teliti.nk cepat je sume benda.mane boleh bai. :)
alhamdulillah saya masih mampu untuk senyum. :)) selebar-lebarnya.
saya harap walau ade obstacles yg melanda selepas ini, saya masih boleh untuk senyum.walaupun senyum tak ikhlas. hehe
entry ini agak merapu.tapi ia isi hati saya.so what!
sambil tunggu laundry siap, aku duduk di sini.
bertanya pada diri.mengimbau kembali.2009.
well, it might be too early untuk mengulas 2009.tapi dengan apa yg telah dilalui, rasenyer cukup untuk menjadi topik entry kali ni.
sebagaimana tahun2 yang lepas, 2009 byk mengajar aku.
tentang hidup.
tentang moving on.
tentang persahabatan.
tentang pelajaran.
tentang adik-adik.
tentang keluarga.
but dalam2 byk yg diajar, friendship has its own lessons.tonnes of lesson.
menangis jugak bila fikirkan bout it.
menangis jugak bila tulis bout it.
i need to stop here.
tak boleh dah.
..........
salam.
lamenyer ta hupdate.
huhu.hmmm...
sekarang ni kat uia..
kt itd lab.and for the 1st time ever i can use my own account to access the internet.
YES.after 4 years baru boleh pakai.damn.i wasted rm25 every semester mcm tu je sbb tak boleh pakai internet kat lab!
takpela.now dah boleh pakai kan? :)
im waiting for the finance office to re-open.
sekarang tgh lunch hour.
i need to submit the bank's slip.
klau tak sampai ke sudah la tak boleh nak check result.
sebenarnyer, last october dah bayar dah tuition fee.
tapi slip tu aku hilangkan.tak ingat letak mane.
so tadi pegi bank request for copy of the slip.
and since the transaction was in october, they said 'berzaman' sikit la nak cari slip tu.
i ended up had to pay another rm1200 for this semester fees.damn.amik 3 subjek jer tapi fee can ape je.again my fault.sape suruh xtend.
despite all the not-so-good news,i got good news jugak! :)
i got an interview.as an attachment student..
this is my 1st interview ever in my life..
before this mmg la pernah attached to firm and organisation,tapi tu sume automatic dapat without having to go thru any interviews sbb its under aikol.
but this attachment i cari sendiri with the help of my kakak angkat,kak jije( thank you akak).
dapat tak dapat belum tentu lagi.
tapi dah tentu la aku berharap dapat.
its the experience that i wanna earn.
payless pun takpe..hee.cam desperate jer.
tapi klau tak dpat takpe..
im ok with it..
rezeki bukan urusan kita. :)
serius perut lapar sambil buat entry tapi segan nak pegi makan sensorang kt uia ni especially dekat hs cafe sbb tak biasa pegi sana sorang2 and takut jugak terserempak dgn orang yg aku tak nak terserempak.fuhhh.! :)
better stop now.
nk dekat kul 2 dah pun.eh lagi setengah jam la.lambat nyerrrrrr...
hmmm...
p/s: thank you min.thank you sgt2. :)
Underneath the moon,
Underneath the stars
Heres a little heart for you
Up above the world,
Up above it all
Heres a hand to hold on to
But if I should break,
If I should fall away
What am I to do?
I need someone to take,
A little of the weight
Or I'll fall through
You're just the one
That I've been waiting for
I'll give you
All that I have
To give and more
But don't let me fall
Take a little time,
Walk a little line
Got the balance right
Give a little love,
Gimme just enough
So that I can hang on tight
We will be alright,
I'll be by your side
I wont let you down
But I gotta know,
No matter how things go
That you will be alright
You're just the one
That I've been waiting for
I'll give you all
That I have
To give and more
But don't let me fall
Underneath the moon,
Underneath the stars
Heres a little heart for you
Up above the world,
Up above it all
Heres a hand to hold on to
Your just the one
That I've been waiting for
I'll give you
All that I have
To give and more
But don't let me fall
You'll be the one
That I'll love forever more
I'll be here holding you
High above it all
But don't let me fall
wah!
lamanye tak singgah rumah ni. :)
its been a hectic months! hehe
banyak benda yg buka mata aku.
banyak juga benda yang buka mata hati aku.
buat aku sedar tentang banyak perkara.
terutama tentang orang2 di sekeliling aku.
siapa yang ada,siapa yang tiada.
siapa yang pernah ada.
siapa yang masih ada.
antara pengajaran yang paling besar dalam hidup.
buat aku kenal siapa kawan dan siapa lawan.
but its ok.
aku akan ok.
dan sedang ok. :)
should be ok.
;)
p/s: ikmal,i had a great time today with u and shah.tq very much for the ride.bila boleh jumpa lagi dan gossip lagi? hehe
Friends
by Tamara K. McCully
The relationship between two friends
Is more than you can hold in your hands
It feels like it could never break
Or someone could ever take
Then suddenly like the break of dawn
Someone else comes along
Then the relationship bends so much that it breaks apart
And soon it breaks a heart.
saya cuba untuk tidak berfikir.
tidak berfikir yang bukan2.
tapi klau dah benda di depan mata,
patut saya buat tak tahu saja ke?
peritnya nye hati.
bila kita tak tahu what is actually going on.
tapi saya tahu, perit lagi hati mereka.
ada yang saya buat sesuatu,sehingga mcm ni akhirnya.
dont ask me what it is,for i dont know what it is.
kepada anda, mungkin juga maaf ni yang entah ke berepa kali,yang mungkin juga belum mampu untuk meredakan keadaan.tapi aku ikhlas.sungguh aku ikhlas.
SAYA MINTA MAAF.
minta maaf kerana melukakan hati anda.
minta maaf kerana menganggu hidup anda with the sms and calls.
i miss both of you terribly.
tapi tak pe la.
i deserve this mungkin.
salam everyone.
tomorrow, a new semester will starts.
and as usual, im currently still at home.
esok pagi2 baru nk gerak balik uia.
for those yg kenal aku,they wuld definitely know whats going on.
im having this syndrome called taknak-balik-uia syndrome.
the symptoms are as follow:
1.sepatutnya check in mahallah harini tapi ditunda kepada esok.
2.sepatutnya dah packing barang2 tapi masih belum buat.
3.asyik mengeluh tak nak balik uia.sampaikan mood pun terganggu.
4.belum balik uia dah plan nk balik rumah everyday for first two weeks.hehe
5.once melangkah kaki keluar dari rumah,rasa sebak terus melanda.
6.banyak lagi.tapi nanti akan diberitahu kelak.
so these are the symptoms.maybe ramai akan kata,mcm la dia sorang je homesick.rumah dekat pun nk homesick.i couldnt care less.thats me.mmg mcm ni dari zaman matrik lagi.except symptom no.5 tu baru2 je.
why do i have all this symptoms?
simple.i love staying at home so much.i hate when my sisters are not before my eyes.im afraid that something would happen and im not there.it happened before.
im also afraid of being in uia because i may not have time to go home because if i go home,then i would reluctant to go back to uia and so i wuld decide not to go home.u get what i mean?
yang ni pun pernah jadi jugak.sampai kan hampir sebulan tak balik rumah.
nk kata pelik pun ya.nk kata mengada2 pun ya.
BUT! regardless of anything, for this new semester,i have few goals that need to be achieved.
1.puasa is coming.im planning to buka puasa at home EVERYDAY.if possible la.that means i'll be off-campus during ramadhan.IF POSSIBLE la.
2.try to go home every weekends.and tak nak dah liat balik uia.
3.i wanna improve my result.i made it last semester.i wanna do it better this time around.
4.focus on my studies.no more main2.
5.DIET.why this one no 5 eh?hehe.i guess less important kot.NAH! tak la.i`ll try my best. =)
6.NO MORE PONTENG.hehe.this one pun if possible la.klau tak ponteng langsung mcm impossible je kan?it shuld be LESS PONTENG. ngeee.
7.there will be more tapi nanti diupdate lagi.
so whether i can achieve these goals or not,bergantung la.tawakkal is also very important.
despite the abovementioned goals, i also have the things-which-i-need-to-just-disregrad list.
but that one i`ll do later la kay.that list is important jugak.so that i would not waste my time on unecessary matters.
tawakkal kepada Allah.Usaha pun penting.word for myself.
till we meet again.
hurm.MALAS NYE NAK BALIK UIA.HELP!
